Sunday, September 21, 2014

Save Me, or the Problem with You and I

I was watching television once and heard someone say, "It was for I." I nearly fell to the floor – instead, I was lucky enough to catch my chin on a piece of furniture. When teachers drummed You and I into our heads as small children, they apparently didn't help our developing minds distinguish between subjects and objects, and the only surviving element of their criticism was that "ME" is somehow bad. This blog is an attempt to save me.

As writers, are we obligated to take language seriously and assist the public (and our readers)? Maybe teachers are the ones morally obligated, but I've heard English and elementary school, high school, and college-level teachers say the following types of things a number of times:
"to he and his wife"
"with you and I"
"Her and her husband are going."

When I've asked them (I can be awful) if they know that their grammar is incorrect, they inform me that they do NOT know. They say that it was not emphasized in their educational programs.

Is this like an auto mechanic who never learned how engines work?

The inaccuracies do not appear related to education level or profession. Your attorney, doctor, and minister all might say "Listen, between you and I..."



Let's have a brief overview.

First, the fundamentals:

1. Me is a bona fide English word. You can practice saying it in front of the mirror. "Me" rightfully belongs in some sentences. It is an objective or accusative pronoun. Objective means that it has something done unto it. It is passive.

For instance, let us look at the sentence: "Give it to me!" Me is properly used here as the object of the preposition to.

Now, to really test you, which is correct:
A) Give it to Jacques and I!
B) Give it to Jacques and me!

B, of course. Why? It does not matter how many people are being given, they are objects all the same. You could say: "Give it to John, Lilith, Mark, Kyle, and me!" 

Now my friend Bob states that usage eventually becomes rule in language. If this is the case, I'll be on the next shuttle to one of the "new" planets in our solar system, cuddling up with a blanket of Me’s. 

2. Whom does not speak. In fact, whom does not do anything. Why? It is an object. I have seen people write comments such as: "I like Joe, whom says that…" This sentence is the grammatical equivalent of "him says no," an atrocity that brings us to number three:

3. If it sounds ridiculous, it most likely is ridiculous.

4. "Between you and I" is blatantly offensive. See number one above. Between is a preposition, and, as such, it deserves objects. Other prepositions frequently robbed of proper objects are with and for.

These are correct:
That is between him and her.
I'll go with John and her.
The gift is for Mark and him.
Does she want to go with you and me?
It meant the same to him and us. 

5. It is I is an exception because of the verb to be. Let's just leave it at that.

6. English is easier than German when it comes to pronouns. In English, you don't have to worry about the dative. If you don't know what this is, consider yourself fortunate, stop complaining, and learn your English grammar.


I know it's a lot to ask, but when I'm reading an extremely well formulated and researched novel that then has an educated character in the 1800's say between you and I, it pulls me right out of my suspension of disbelief. I doubt that's what the author intended.